I am perpetually prone to comparison.
Not just the comparison of myself to others but the comparisons of my current self to my old self.
It's that bad. I compare myself to myself - the better myself to the worse myself.
The past few weeks I've been guilty of that. I've been beating myself up internally because I'm not eating right or cooking like I was a month ago. I've given myself a black eye for not staying positive like the old me would have. I've kicked myself in the shins for taking so long to read the book that I'm moving like molasses through. Pulling my own hair for not walking the dogs or taking them out to play. I even bullied myself for not having the motivation to wash my sheets last night.
What's the point? How am I to improve my internal state if I'm continually pushing myself off the sidewalk and into the bushes for no good reason?
Today I confront this bully. Comparison - I'm putting you on notice: you're being evicted. I won't stand for your thievery any longer! My joy is mine to keep.
Wooorrrddd. I was reading about self-compassion yesterday. I learned that being nice to yourself isn't indulgent or over the top - it's necessary. You're wonderful :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've finished a book since 2006. I always have every intention to get to that last page, but then I get caught up snacking on the molasses I'm supposed to be speed reading past. You're not worse or better than any "you" that existed before....you're just a little different.
ReplyDelete