Saturday, December 1, 2012

Uncertainty




Planning for a future by yourself is difficult.
Planning for a future with your person is daunting.
Planning for a future with any other players is downright impossible. 

The past months of learning to live with another person, starting a new career, moving to a new state and trying to decide where I'm headed from here has been exciting and terrifying. Mostly terrifying at times. 

One of my "persons" encouraged me to read a book discussing the process of learning to live with uncertainty. The book is written by a Buddhist nun. If there is one person I am certain I could never meet up with on the uncertainty train, it's a nun. 

I am the antithesis of a nun. When I think of a nun, I think of someone selfless, content, calm and devoted to study as well as prayer. I can hardly hold still long enough to make a decision about what I'll eat next. Prayer is me talking to the big-greater-being on my way to work and in bed most mornings. And the conversation that happens in my bed could be argued to be nothing more than procrastination. Waking up and getting moving has become exponentially more difficult as a result of daylight savings. 

What I'm trying to say is this: I am certain that I am entirely uncomfortable with the idea of uncertainty. But Anne tells me that "certainty is missing the point entirely."

Anne Lamott is like a nun. She's like a nun with dreads. A nun who prays with cuss words. Maybe I could meet up with that kind of nun.

I think I need to buy her most recent book. I could three essential prayers, Help, Thanks and Wow.