I have become the kind of person who decides something and then feels the need to be totally and utterly committed to that decision. When I want to feel a certain way, I will shove all my unfiltered feelings through the strainer in order to make the feelings that come out the ones that I want.
I didn't used to be this way.
I've changed in an attempt to be less crazy. Because unfiltered feelings make you crazy. Acting on unfiltered feelings can make you crazy stupid.
But over lunch today I had this sudden rush of unfiltered feelings - and they were raw and scary and reactionary and they're unbelievably difficult to turn off.
And I find myself wondering how long can you rewrite the feelings you have for the feelings you want? And when do you have to stop thinking about down the road and walk on the sidewalk under your feet?
I just want to throw my hands up and scream that it's not fair! The feelings I have don't match the feelings I want.
Where's the microchip for your brain that turns this crazy crap off? Where's the microchip that makes us all calm, rational, kind individuals?
I'm lookin' at you Apple. Get it together.
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