Confessional

I think that there is real beauty in a variety of the Catholic Church's traditions. One of the aspects that I find myself inappropriately envying at times is the confessional.

I am a naturally introspective person, sometimes to a fault, and once I realize certain thoughts or feelings, I have a burning desire to tell someone about my impossibly frequent epiphanies.

The thing is, I would prefer to tell someone who is obligated to a higher power to never share what I've said with others. I want a person whose job it is to reserve judgment and never bring up my previous confessions. I want someone who cannot acknowledge they know me, even if I visit them multiple times in a day. I want to tell someone who can't alert me to the variety of contradictions in my realizations.

I  think I idealize the warm anonymity of a confessional booth. While I am at it, could I request that Morgan Freeman or Alec Baldwin be on the other side of the screen?

If we are dreaming up scenarios, I would like to request a soothing, rich and textured voice to give me vague responses to my stream of consciousness confessions.