Directions

I spent a lot of the past three weeks trying to talk sense into the places in my inner-most self that refuse to be reasoned with.

Thankfully, I am surrounded by emotionally intelligent, devastatingly hopeful and positively inspiring women. These women help me process. They become a life line to who I am at the center of all the things that make me.

There are a thousand different ways to convince yourself that fear is both reasonable and necessary. Fear is a consistent companion and you learn how to live with him in the passenger seat. You learn what neighborhoods to avoid and where to lock your doors and roll up your windows. But I think what I'm realizing, through my processing, is that my favorite places in the world, the areas where I have learned to open up my mind and my heart are the places fear tells me to avoid.

I think that Paulo Coelho knows why. "Don't allow your mind to tell your heart what to do. The mind gives up easily." My mind has a laundry list of all the reasons not to do things. My mind is acutely aware of the dangers of optimism, of hope and of patience.

But my heart is aware of what I need. My heart is aware of what brings me joy and fulfillment. And if my mind is going to give up on the things that I value most, because they are difficult, I'll choose to ignore it.

I will choose to roll down the windows and let my heart give me directions instead.

 
Photo Credit:welcometomyfinland: Frozen flower/Jäätynyt kukka

Either you run the day...

I saw this on a friends instagram and thought - ain't that the truth. I also thought... man... when was the last time I attended to my blog?

I talked to one of my best friends about how much life piles on at once. We talked about how you feel like you need to throw things, scream or maybe crawl under the desk and sob at work, for no particular reason.

We decided that there are bad things that happen that make you feel that way, but there are also the  heaps of good things that can cause you stress. A new and exciting relationship, travel, weddings, parties... to name a few.

The good and the bad mix together in a cosmic cocktail and sometimes it doesn't go down smooth. The best advice I can give myself on those days? "Either you run the day or the day runs you."

I'm not about to start letting my days run me. Not any time soon. This is a commitment to taking the day on and showing it who's boss. Boom goes the dynamite.

Soundtracks

Ingrid Michaelson, Lenka and NeedtoBreathe are the go to albums of my big ol' life transition.

Sometimes a little girl music and some Southern Rock gospel style tunes hit the spot.

Some of the lyrics on repeat:

"When life tries to knock the wind out of you, you've got to roll, roll, roll with the punches..." - girl anthem to just stay on your feet.

"And so it goes, this soldier knows, The battle with the heart isn't easily won, but it can be won, but it can be won..." - a little reminder that fighting for hope and thankfulness is well worth it.

"Even when the rain falls, Even when the flood starts rising, Even when the storm comes, I am washed by the water." - the perfect way to talk about grace.

Additional lyrics, anthems and general dance around the new house tunes are welcome.  

Start Somewhere

Recently - my life did a somersault and somehow I landed on my feet. The one thing that I am certain of is that grace is the only reason I didn't end up lying on the ground hoping someone would pick me up and take me off to a knitted room where I could sleep while they arranged my new life for me.

I moved out of my house, moved into a new house with friends so I could find a place of my own, found the perfect place, convinced a property owner to process me quickly, moved into the perfect place, furnished the perfect place and found someone to take care of my dog while I am globe trotting in the coming months.

And all that ... in 6 days?

The right people came to the rescue when it counted. The chips fell in my favor. The universe did me a solid.

And I'll call that grace. I'll be thankful that I was able to start somewhere and end up just where I needed to be.

“I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”
― Anne Lamott

Anne nailed it - yet again.

Where I land

There is something to be said for appreciating where you land. My life appears to be one continuous series of mishaps, blessings, surprises and adventures.

My friend Chelsie (her blog is wonderful... click here) recapped her travels over the past year, and inspired me to do the same.

In the past year:

 

I visited Italy on a whirlwind tour to assist with the arrival of our study abroad students from TCU and managed to tour Florence and drink my beloved Limoncello in Rome.

 

I traveled to Islamorada in the Keys for a vacation with my wonderful man, and even got to see a friend from Ghana that I had not seen since 2009.

 

I moved to Jacksonville, Florida with my aforementioned wonderful man and beloved child, Bella (the pitbull above) and started a job as an International Student recruiter...

   
 

I planned and implemented my first international recruiting trip for the University of North Florida in Uruguay, Argentina and Paraguay. I managed to get mugged, get in a taxi accident and take a cab ride with a prostitute during that trip. Impressive. I know.


  

I saw Savannah, GA for the first time, and simultaneously discovered the incredible accomodations available on airbnb.com.

  

I was a bridesmaid for one of my dearest friends from Texas, in Boston.

  

 I was a bridesmaid again, for another one of my dearest friends from Texas, in Texas!

 

I celebrated Christmas in Illinois, and got to see every one of my siblings, both of my parents and even my grandparents.

And the coming adventures include Montreal, Toronto and Ottawa in Canada as well as a trip to China and Taiwan. The itineray for April is yet to be determined, but Turkey is likely to be my destination in May.

Here's looking at an exciting 2012 and the promise of a great 2013.

Taking Action

I saw on facebook today that folks are committing themselves to resolutions for the new year on GoodReads.

I use GoodReads to try and remember books I want to read, and to keep track of what I have read. With my current reading-hiatus, I thought I should revisit my profile.

It was on the website that I found the "Groups" tab... so in an attempt to inspire myself and maybe even others, I made a group.

It's called Trusted readers. There is a button to the right, click and join!

They made me pick a topic so I chose "Friends and Common Interests", then I had to pick a subtopic, so I picked "Wine". Because all Trusted Friends should have wine when discussing literature.

Feel free to join the group and inspire me, or even seek inspiration. I am working to fight my own brain death, join me in my quest.

cds and sunshine

Two of the biggest highlights of the last week have been the absurd weather (in a fabulous way) and the arrival of my new cds.

My Dad was sweet enough to get me a big ol' gift card to Barnes and Noble for Christmas. So, I decided to use my Barnes-bucks to buy some cds that I knew would make great car-jams. I much prefer cds for the car. Yes, I am technologically advanced and have an aux port and aux cord in the car, but that means I have to dig out my phone and allow interruptions when phone calls come in.

I don't find this to be conducive to my need to jam-out-like-wow.

I was skyping my sister last night when the cds arrived, and she told me "I'm old school" because I still like cds.What if I liked tape decks? Those were the jam of choice when I was a kid. The Tracy Chapman and Savage Garden tapes were the soundtrack to my 97.

The reason I am celebrating the arrival of new tunes this week, is the perfect cruising weather. It's been around 80 degrees and sunshine here in Jax. In January.

I open up that moon roof and drive. If I'm in a good mood, full of rage or just angsty in general, a good cd and beautiful weather is the best cure I've found. Besides chocolate. And pizza. Actually... eating a pizza and drinking a chocolate milk shake while driving to a good cd... that may be the golden ticket.